Thursday, February 11, 2016

A quick update on the horror that is my life

I have been staying in a roll on bed for the past few months. It is called Mount Brown, and is located about a mile away from the city centre...where there are no amenities. It is actually not too far away from where I used to live at home. It is run by DePaul, and although it has plenty of staff, none are key workers that work with you as an individual. The move on is relatively fast here...but only for people looking to share a room (probably with a drug addict). I however have specified that I want a single room. The move on is tiresome! Most of the people who have been going through the process with me have been moved on already. I am still being kicked out at 8.45am every morning to wander the streets aimlessly until half five. You'd think Christmas day and New Year's day would be an exception? But no. On Christmas day I spent 2 hours drying my coat under a hand drier in apache pizza, as this was the only place that was open. It was a depressing ordeal...there were only a handful of places open and it was pissing rain. Mount Brown's excuse is that they have to close the building during the day...as the staff need to go home. I think it is a question of finance, and they are not bothered to spend the money on hiring more staff...even for the mental health of real human beings like myself. It has become so depressing at this point that I am numb to it. The staff on a whole are okay, but only because I have gotten in to the habit of putting them in their place. I never leave on time...because I have been wandering the streets for seven fucking months now! And there is no sign of a single room STA (for someone who is not on drugs???). It makes no sense at all.

Anyway, while I am here I would like to briefly summarise the various trauma I have gone through.

The first thing to note is the condition of the place. Mt Brown is in fact notorious for ODs. Many many people have taken an over dose and died in this place...and I can see why! Sleeping in the place is a depressing experience of the highest order. The bed sheets are ancient, and are covered with cigarette holes, and I am constantly pulling long blond hairs from them (I have short brown hair). The duvets are covered with dried in blood and tea stains, and stink. In fact, I have thrown up on more than one occasion because of the smell. I can't imagine the skirting boards have ever been cleaned as the dust seems to mount ever more every week. The crevices in the shower are also filled with dust. They have a cleaner...but I don't really know what she is good for. All she does is replace a shitty smelly duvet with another shitty smelly duvet. And she always fucks all my clothes under my bed if they are lying on the floor..does she think she is doing me a favor? Now all my clothes are covered in 'under the bed dust', and they smell.
When whoever is in charge decided to finally paint the depressing walls...all the residents were forced to sleep in the room with the astonishingly toxic smell...the smell lingered on for weeks. And guess which color the 'experts' decided on? Green. Yes, that is the same color as sick, hospital rooms, and diarrhea. As a trained interior designer I want to cringe. They put absolutely no thought in to this and did not take the advice of any expert. They then went on to paint the walls in the hallway...wait for it...dark blue and bright yellow....two completely contrasting colors. Idiots. I finally decided to step in and offer my advice before they made any more dunderheaded decor decisions...so I suggested a light blue color for the office. Then, before I made any other decisions it was settled that the rest of the rooms would be painted light blue as well...to save money on paint. Unbelievable. Interior decor could literally save someone's life as it has a palpable impact on how one feels about oneself...but do they care? Nope. Not at all. They don't have to sleep in these rooms and live in this environment when they are groggy after walking around fucking town all day. They cling to each other in the safe haven that is their office...where there are no toxic smells or blaring travelers.
They put a traveler couple in the room next to me by the way. They never stop arguing...and the smell of their weed travels through the walls.

What next? A carpet on the toilet seat? Hire an interior designer Mt Brown!

Someone threw a cup of coffee in my face a few days ago, and the staff still suggested it was a good idea to go down and socialise with 'people'. Their advice is bizarre at the best of times. Then, this morning, when i was getting dressed I asked for a pair of underwear (as there is no laundry facility) and a male staff member suggested I 'go commando' and then sniggered. Very professional. I do wonder about the people they hire to deal with homeless people.
Finally, I would like to describe the morning 'routine'...as it is written on paper that you are to be gone at 8.45...which is a fucking ordeal. However, the wake up calls begin at 7.15am...and I don't know about you, but when a big burly man enters your room and shouts 'IT'S 7.30'...that's gonna keep me awake...shaking...for the remainder of the morning. They continue to get people to invade my room every 15 minutes after that. So, they may as well say...you are out by 8.45...but you will be awake and buzzing by 7.30am. That's why everyone in there is ready to kill every evening.

That's all for now! I am really tired.