Well, it's been a while since I've updated my blog, partially because every day life here is fairly mundane, and equally as intolerable as it was the last time I reported on anything. My bed sit has felt more like a prison cell for the past year now...and that feeling only mounts with time. The floor is a highlighter shade of orange, which has a tendency to overwhelm me at the best of times. My lamp broke, so my only option is to light the Christmas lights, as the glare from the ceiling light is enough to blind the strongest of men. Since I have an eye condition, when exposed to bright lights I start seeing a lot of floaters and orbs of light in my field of vision. Therefore, the light switch remains untouched. I've also really stopped finding this whole homeless ordeal 'funny' or 'educational' in any way. It is degrading and disgusting, there are no two ways about it. It is a breeding ground for stoners and substance abusers with a chip on their shoulder, to let off steam at unsuspecting people. An 'apparently' friendly girl in here slowly but surely took a dislike to me. It started when I hogged two washing machines to do my washing, then I asked her if she had food (never ask a heavy girl for food...lesson learnt the hard way), and that was the breaking point for her. It was all down hill from then on. She very rudely called me a 'drain' to my face, exclaiming I 'drain the energy out of a room'. She didn't take too kindly to being told to 'piss off' after that, and started spreading rumors about me. Some that have made their way back to me is that I watch porn on the computer and that I cut my hair myself. She also told another resident that his face looked 'orange' to his face, and that she felt like getting a baby wipe and wiping it off for him. She claims that she just 'says it as it is'. Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think there are some things better left unsaid, and being rude is never necessary. I'm sure that without a shadow of a doubt her irrational and rude behaviour is down to her drug use. She's stoned all day long, and openly admits to it, then she walks into the communal area, and takes over. It's the social equivalent of giving your car keys to a monkey. Yes, she's highly functioning, but in all the worst ways possible. If the only way she can get through her life, is by intoxicating her body, than she has my pity. My mind boggles when I think of how she is passing all her exams, and working part time...while stoned. Although, in retrospect, she does function very well...she's well able to speak her mind, and work hard...but there's a trade off...and that is her sanity. She's turned into a crazy artist...well able to create wonderful things and achieve great outcomes, but from a very sad and corrupt place. I'm sick of this, and I'm sick of people like her in my life. I want out. Thank God the HAP scheme have raised the budget to 960 euro per month plus two months deposit. The rent is depressingly high in Dublin at present though, but I'm sure this will secure me somewhere...anywhere...that's not related to homelessness.
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